Moving On Up...

So I'm moving my blog to word press. All my old entries have been imported there, and that's where all the new ones are going to be, including a forthcoming post on why the walls of my world collapsed a little today (hint--Paris Hilton does not, apparently, sing the camels song). The new address:


http://justlikeaunicorn.wordpress.com/


See you there, biddies.

I Think I Learned How To Post Pictures

This is a picture of Frasier and Niles. They are on TV. Frasier is probably worried about cooking for one of his dinner parties. They tend to go awry.







This is Samantha. She was my favorite American Girl Doll. When I was in first grade, I would make my mother call me Samantha. I was kind of a brat.





This is a horse with a kitten. So cute.












These are croutons. Croutons are my least favorite food.

Additionally...

Today I really thought I had found a new favorite food: bagels and cream cheese. I had been craving them a lot lately and so I was super stoked when I snuck into New Commons to get one. Except guess what. Turns out bagels are not my new favorite food. The one I had today was the opposite of tasty. So now I just feel really confused. They used to be so tasty. I'm kind of devastated. I don't know what to do.

Flared Jeans Are Never Okay; BAND!

Last night we had our first band practice ever and it was kind of the most amazing thing ever. Tom joined our band and now we are super awesome. We already have two songs. It's actually kind of terrifying how amazing we are. Seriously.

Tuesday, Tuesday, My New Favorite Day

I think Tuesday is officially my favorite day. Today I slept through Potions. Then I went to work. Work was great because I didn't have to do anything so I just got to read the newspaper the whole time.  Then they were having a meeting with food in the WGS lounge. Also, I like Tuesdays because Jordo has his chili night meetings at the same time I have work. So after I finished my work and Jordo finished his meeting we went and stood outside the WGS lounge and waited for the people to be done with their meeting so we could eat their food. While we waited we left a note for one of our professors asking her to bowling and beer. She checked the yes box so that's exciting. It was great because we got to take all we could eat and then we took the leftovers home. After we packed up our sandwiches and lemon squares and chips we checked our mail and my new sparkly dress had finally come. Very exciting. 

So then I walked home and it had started to snow. I finished one of my sandwiches, made hot cocoa, put on Mad About You and have been reading Harry Potter ever since. It's been pretty much the greatest thing ever. I think now I am going to go eat the other sandwich I have.

Why I Love Tina Fey, Part One Million

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te4wEEklslY

Watch it. Go Hills!

A Word About Nap Time.

Nap time is a very important part of the day for me. Nap time generally occurs between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m., though sometimes it is longer. Nap time does not necessarily involve me actually sleeping, but it involves me getting to spend quality time laying in my bed by myself. Sometimes nap time involves me watching television or reading things on the interweb. Nap time always involves me not answering my cell phone. Other people are NOT part of nap time. Sometimes I might answer the phone but only if you are bringing me food.

Rock Rock Rock Star

So, it's official. I am going to be a rock star. While talking with a friend over some beers/colt 45 last night, we realized that we shared a common regret--not starting a band in college. Then we realized college wasn't over, and that if the two of us started a band it would be the most awesome thing ever. So we are going to start a band. I have been writing songs. Today I wrote one called “At Some Point Your Ironic Fashion Sense Just Makes You Look Ugly, And That Kind Of Defeats The Purpose.” It's pretty amazing. If anyone steals my title, I will punch them. COPYRIGHT LAWS!

Oh, The Angst of My Youth

Today instead of being a good kid and concentrating on the absurd amount of reading I need to do, I played around on youtube and revisited the angsty girl bands of my youth. So, here is a lovely taste of the music little angsty 7th-grade me adored.


liz phair
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9i-DGV_0r4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnxN27NX-Qw

the breeders
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AsId-qVIb4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_l4ZOVJ-ts&feature=related

veruca salt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AI95BVkiW0

garbage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdodc1Eu1nA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMmoXoJkojA&feature=related

hole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ki4vC3hbpk4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M0EeJXznlQ&feature=related

sonic youth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmanYE7QY5A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OdSoKfTP1k

Oh, Sophie B., How You Know Me...

So. I don't even know where to begin. Just watch this:

http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1407927350

Let's go through why this is my new favorite thing ever.

1. Who doesn't love Sophie B. Hawkins and Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover?
2. We all know how much I love Hillary.
3. You also know how much I love absurdity, especially in the form of poorly made videos.
4. Real people sing. In a beauty salon.
5. SHE PETS THE TIGER. SHE PETS THE MURAL OF A TIGER SURROUNDED BY LIGHTENING.

That is all.

Follow the Bouncing Ball...All Thanks to You, Mitch Miller

Today while perusing Wikipedia I learned a great fact. Bates College has not one, not two, but SIX school songs. That is correct, six.

I'm very excited about all of them. The only problem is that I don't know the tunes for any of them. So I am going to have to make them up.

First we have the Alma Mater. It is to the tune of my high school Alma Mater, Hail Ms. McGehee.

Here's to Bates, our Alma Mater dear, \ Proudest and fairest of her peers; \ We pledge to her our loyalty, \ Our faith and our honor thru the years. \ Long may her praises resound. \ Long may her sons exalt her name. \ May her glory shine while time endures, \ Here's to our Alma Mater's fame.

Next there is the Fight Song. I think this one is kind of stupid.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! \ Fight on for Bates \ For Vict'rys at our door, \ Today the Garnet Bobcats conquer again, \ Hathorn bells are ringing in another win \ Down the field the Bobcats are marching \ Piling up the score - \ So fight (pause) for Bates (pause) and glory \ Give us more! more! more! more! \ (shout) Hey! \

Then there is the Field Song and the Victory Song. Like the Fight Song, they are stupid. I am not going to give them melodies.

Bates, Bates, fight till the end, \ Fight till the end of ev'ry game. \ Right, right, right till the end \ Fight for our Alma Mater's name. \ Fair and square may the battle be, \ In life or on the field of play. \ For Bates, Bates, strive till the end \ To honor her name in ev'ry way.

Oh Bates, awake to the sound of battle \ The Garnet waves on high \ Thy sons are following on to victory \ Joy and fair fame are nigh \ The bands are playing, the stands are swaying \ Now rah! rah! rah! Bates! rah! rah! \ Up to your cheering Bates \ Up ev'ry man of you \ Shout to the welkin blue \ All together, Bates together, Rolling up the score \ Add a little, then a little, and a little more \ And at last when night is falling \ And the day is done \ We'll cheer again for dear old Bates \ And another vict'ry won.

The fifth song is called The Bobcat. It is to the tune of the 'Twas Brillig song that the Cheshire Cat sang in my fourth grade musical of Alice in Wonderland.

Oh the day of days is here, \ And the Bobcat will appear, \ Yes the claws will fly and the bears will die \ On this day of Victory, \ For the Bobcat dotes on fighting \ And his courage is supreme. \ And when it comes to smiting, \ Bears and Mules are all the same. \ Oh here’s to the fighting Bobcats, \ The Garnet mascot ever. \ So here’s three cheers for him who shares \ The glory of the name of Bates.

The last song is great. It is called The Bates Smoker. It makes me think of the olden days. It is to the tune of The Holly and The Ivy.

Ofttimes at night I light my pipe, \ And watch the glowing grates; \ The shadows fall while I recall \ Each dream of dear old Bates; \ Each fair coed, each lesson read, \ Each comrade’s friendliness. \ Each victory comes back to me, \ Each dream brings happiness.

THE END.

Did You Take an Ambien With Your Franzia and Sleepwalk Here? Or, I Hung Out With Tom This Afternoon

Tom and I decided that the internet is the best place to talk about your legitimate feelings. Not at all awkward. I just made Tom the best dressed at Bates College for the week. Tom and I also had storytime. “Hipsters Can't Love” is a story from gawker.com that really made me think. Then we boosted our self-esteem by judging other people and realizing that by admitting we have hipster-y tendencies, we are not actually hipsters, and thus have transcended the label. Suck it, bitches.

Caucus Race!

Today was the democratic caucus. It was kind of amazing. I gave a speech to try to persuade the Obama kids. And I'm going to be a delegate to the Maine state convention. I'm getting involved in democracy!

Soup or Ramen, It's a Hard Decision

I can't decide whether I want to have soup or ramen for lunch. I know lunch is a little bit away, but the pressure is already building.

Soup is very tasty. It is my favorite soup, tomato basil soup. However, it is the tastiest with milk, and I have no milk.

Ramen noodles are delicious. These ones are chicken flavored. I only eat the chicken ones. But I make them so that really they have no flavor but are just a little bit salty. Ramen would be nice because I really love noodles and they taste fine with water.

I also cannot decide what I am going to watch on television while I eat my lunch. I could watch 30 Rock, but I watch that all the time. I could watch the West Wing or the L Word, but I'm not sure I'm really in the mood.

I think if I want to feel all cozy I am going to have to eat soup. But if I don't want to I can just eat Ramen. I'll let you know in two hours.

OMG, MY DAY AT BATES COLLEGE

Today I slept through my one class and went to work about ten minutes late. Then I watched Brothers and Sisters for a while, and then I watched The L Word. The best part was when all my friends came over and we watched TV together. Then we surprised our other friend at Applebee's for her birthday. We really did eat great in the neighborhood. It was soooooo ironic.

Things You Aren't Allowed to do on Facebook, Part 1.

Today I was looking at facebook, per usual.

BRIEF INTERRUPTION--I'm a little behind in my fifth season One Tree Hill watching, but it's looking like Kevin Federline is going to be a love interest for Peyton. NOT COOL.

Anyway, back to facebook. Guess what, guys? MacBooks came out about two years ago. Maybe you just got yours now. Congrats, they're fun. Except mine is broken. But, point being--I'm done with your Photobooth facebook photos. Nothing screams emo-douchebag-narcissism more than a photo of you against the wall making a cute little pouty face, maybe in thermal camera or glow. Colored pencil if you're really adventurous. The ONLY circumstance when the Photobooth glamour shot is an okay facebook picture is with a proper and obvious dose of irony.

Here's the thing. I respect your right to be emo and angsty. I respect your right to indulge your narcissism--we all enjoy our Photobooth photo shoots. Lord knows we've all done it. It's just that at this point, sharing it on facebook with the rest of the world is unnecessary and really, just trying too hard. As the wise Tracy Jordan once said, “Have some self-respect, pigeon, don't you know you can fly?”

Tree In My Ear, Tree In My Ear

Yesterday when I was walking home I was stepping out of my way to step on a particularly excellent piece of ice (sometimes if you find the right kind and you step on it the ice makes the noise like when you crack the top of creme brulee) and a stupid branch some how stabbed me in the inside of my ear. It was a little bit terrible.

Take Off Your Patagonia Fleece, I’ve Already Seen it Three Times this Week; Or, You’re Boring Me, You Fuckheads.

It’s winter. My least favorite time of the year at Bates. And not just because of the snow, lack of sunlight, the fact that my tan has faded into pasty nastiness, though none of these things help my mood. No, I hate Bates in the winter because of what it does to fashion here—kills it. Dead. On the ground.

There have been many articles criticizing and bemoaning the state of fashion at Bates over my four years here. I’m not here to pick on anyone or to try to claim that some faction of the student body dresses better than another. I’m here to give a little constructive criticism to everyone, and it boils down to this—you’re boring me, you fuckheads. There’s more to clothing than that same Patagonia Fleece you’ve been sporting since last Thursday or that pair of flares you’ve been wearing since then too (but maybe it’s more than one pair; unless you’re switching up your washes or cuts, jeans all look the same). All I’m asking is that when you wake up in the morning, maybe look beyond your sweatpants and hoodie and trying something a little more…festive.

I know it’s cold outside. And I hate the cold. I really, really hate the cold. I know that sweatpants keep you warm. I know that it’s enough of a pain in the ass to get out of bed when it’s cold outside, let alone try to put together a cute and interesting outfit when you’re feeling cold, fat and pale (it happens during the winter, it’s okay). But you know what makes you feel more fat and pale, and makes me feel bored and cranky? When you wear the same outfit everyday, except maybe with a different sweatshirt or scarf. So, I present you with some tips on how to make your winter wardrobe slightly more interesting, for your sake and mine.

1) Hide clothing you find yourself falling back on again and again. We all do this. I do this. But falling back on the same things over and over again are boring. So hide them. I believe, maybe just out of wishful thinking, that everyone has one piece of clothing in their closet that is truly interesting and unique, but that they rarely wear because it’s hard to find the right occasion or the right pieces to pair with it. Hiding some of your old-standbys will force you to work garments like that into your wardrobe. And once you’ve gotten good at pairing unexpected items, reintroduce the old favorites back in. Chances are, you’ll start doing much more interesting things with them than you were originally.

2) Practical doesn’t have to mean boring. In fact, some of the most practical items can be the most interesting. Get a really rad hat or pair of boots—these are items that you can wear everyday that will keep you warm and that will give your outfit some extra flair. Take your skirts and dresses out of storage (these, unlike jeans, all look different) and get some tights. Now available in colors and patterns far beyond your basic black, they allow a multitude of new outfits to come play. One thing—get tights with feet. Don’t be that ass walking around in the ones that cut off at your calf. I know that part of your leg is cold. If you still aren’t warm enough, throw a pair of leg warmers or tall socks on top—they’re warm and unexpected.

3) Don’t be afraid of humor or irony. A sweater embroidered with fish or a t-shirt with a pattern only your Great-Aunt Muriel would wear can be fun ways to show that you don’t take clothing too seriously. Afraid people will think you’re a big weirdo? Who cares. As long as your rock the irony with confidence, people will probably realize you’re not wearing it seriously. People will only think you’re a big weirdo if you walk around all squirrely and self-conscious.

So there are my tips. Please listen. I am always right.

Things That Are Dumb

1. Response papers. Seriously, I get where you're coming from. You want us to think about and synthesize the reading. Totally legit. But sometimes I really don't have that much to say. Or I have ideas that would really be helped if I could just talk about them with other people. But sitting around for four hours trying to make something a respectable length when I could be sleeping or talking or doing other homework is just annoying.

2. The health center. Really, guys? I can only get my prescription forms filled out on a Tuesday or a Thursday? Helpful.

3. Cold weather. But that is a given.